The Ties That Bind

August 31, 2018

How can we tell when a tie that once was helpful is holding us back from learning, growing, and living our fullest life. 

rope-knot

Connection and belonging is as important to us emotionally as water, food, and oxygen is to us physically. We need to feel connected to people, places and ourselves in order to survive. It’s no wonder then that it's so hard to recognize when a tie that once connected us is no longer serving us, but instead is holding us back. 

Our fear of loss, change, and disconnection can keep us tied to relationships, places, and behaviours that are harmful to us. This is when anger, resentment, and even violent hateful thoughts arise in us toward others or ourselves. Instead of seeing these natural reactions as warning signs that something is amiss and needs to change, we often feel bad about ourselves, we feel ashamed, and try to push these feelings away. But these difficult emotions are like flashing red lights warning us that a tie that once served us is now is holding us back.

The key is to listen to our emotions, especially the ones we feel most ashamed of. They are important beacons signaling which knots in our life are keeping us secure and well, and which ones aren't. Once we can discern this, we can choose to untie even the most tangled knot, and figure out how to tie it back in a way that helps us rather than hinders us from moving forward.